Southern California-(GP) Governor Schwartzenagger is so far proud of his state’s response to the wildfire. “You have seen it, zey got zere within twenty minutes before the first phone call, then when zey whene zet could not put it out zey left, but zey said zey’ll be back, I myself have seen zee front lines of the fire and threw some papers in for zat puny girly man George W. Bush. Zee only one who was closer zen me was Geraldo Rivera whose moustache muscles were bulging so big the fire was practically scared out.”


Rudy Giuliani, who is legally changing his name to 911 next week, came out to roast hotdogs and marshmallows, pandering to the California vote much like he did in Boston. “Man let’s hear it for these California firemen! They are much better than those New York guys! Let’s not forget that if we do not fight fires we let the terrorist win. They will attack again you know and only people like myself who experienced 911 himself came stop them. This fire might very well be an act of terror by the very same 911 terrorists. 911 911 911.”


In an attempt to prove that he has learned from the Katrina disaster President Bush has made several changes in policies, concerning Government response to national disasters. First and foremost he waited less than a week for a good photo opportunity, creating a better, more compassionate image for the President. Also there was not a single “Fires Extinguished” banner or aircraft carrier anywhere to be found. He was though, left wondering why there were no poles to slide down. “Heh Heh, we learned some valuable lessons after Katrina, this time I listened to what my dear Mom used to say about the leftovers on Thanksgiving, Save the white meat! Heck of a job Arnie!”