Manhattan, NY (GP) -

When President Bush changed his stance on the global warming issue he did so not because of advisers, science or the American People. He did so because he saw first hand what many New Yorkers knew already. Arctic ‘vermin’ have lost much of their land due to rising temperatures and have come to New York to “make it”.

Unfortunately for every Wally Walrus, Chilly Willy, and Coca-Cola polar bear there are hundreds more of the poor souls you are going to hear about right now. Many of these lost souls are homeless, dealing drugs or have just turned to other criminal activities just to make ends meat in the land of plenty. Some of these Images may be disturbing to young children and you may want to ask them to leave the room.

We’ll start with Elroy Walrus, in his homeland he was the alpha-male, a full harem of female walruses at his disposal and a lucrative business in penguin entrails. He came here as an aspiring actor and hoped to make it big like other walruses before him. Elroy says; ‘I did not know it would be so hard. Showbiz is crazy they are so picky first my tusks were too small, I had to prostitute my girls to get tusk implants then they met cool breeze and he took my girls. At my last audition they loved my new look but did not take me because of my name, “Who’s gonna remember Elroy Walrus? Sorry man you ain’t no Wally. Next thing you know I am out on the streets begging.’

(Above; Elroy Walrus "Will Work For Sushi")

Next we have Jake the polar bear he got here when his high-rise iceberg went adrift and landed him right on Ellis Island there he has stayed. ‘I like the water’ he says, ‘I get to shake down tourists for cash and every once in a while I get to eat one or two, the cops don’t care as long as they’re darker then me!’

(Above; Jake at Ellis Island)

Lastly, and most sinister we have Pauly “Sardino” Penguin, alleged Don of the Tuxedo Family, Pauly came to NY, with a darker porpoise in mind. As ring leader he is allegedly in control of all underground fish oil dealing in the country. Here is a few words from Pauly, ‘How many times I gotta tell youse people AH? There is no tuxedo family, me and the boys run a simple show at the central park zoo. Ain’t you seen that movie?’

(Pauly Penguin, out late)

Democrats propose legalizing heroin, then with the tax money we can have support programs to help these critters. While Republicans build a guarded snow fort you can see from space across the Canadian border.


(Above; Minute Men Telling an orphin Baby Seal, speak English or get out!)