Blogstream   -   Create a Blog!   -   Login Chat   -   Options   -   Clean   -   Flag   -   Family Filter: Off   -   Recent   -   Rndm >>    

Blogstream  >  Jokes & Humor  >  Blog  >  Page #9
 
The Geekly Planet


 Four Children Injured At White House Egg Hunt
 

Washington (GP) - Four children were hurt at an Easter hunt last Sunday as Vice President Dick Cheney shot at eggs on The White House front lawn after his five martini breakfast and morning baby seal clubbing ritual.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
White House Press correspondent Tony Snow, has this to say,
“Look, I mean what kind of parents would even take a young child on a hunting trip? A Democrat that’s who! A full investigation will be forthcoming into these so-called adults who would do such a thing.”

Mr. Henry W. Snarfblat the father of one of the injured children who’s condition was upgraded from serious to ‘not too shabby’ by President Bush himself was also on hand to comment,

“My wife and I are just sorry that the Vice President had to endure such a tragedy.”

President Bush during his radio address said;

“Boy that Dick is a hoot, I’m telling you I said egg hunt, he yelled, ‘LOCK AND LOAD’ and came out a shootin’. You just never know when that guy’s gonna do something silly like that reminds me of the ol’ days on the ranch. That’s why Sen. McCain is running around with a bullet proof vest all the time he’s just gearing up for his trip here. Now I know some folks are gonna get all hot and bothered about all this, but in the event that things take a turn for the tragic, we will be sure to use all of the parts and roasting lil’ Billy out back on the grill. They’re more tender when there’re young anywho.”

Later in the news inter-species marrage, is it wrong?
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Posted by Zappa Fan at 7:25 AM - 30 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 Blackout In Sydney
 

SYDNEY, Australia(GP)

The Sydney Opera House's gleaming white-shelled roof was darkened Saturday night along with the rest of Australia's largest city, which switched off the lights to register concern about global warming and the decline in wide spread looting.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
(Looters and police practicing for the big night)

The arch of Sydney's other iconic structure, the harbor bridge, was also blacked out, along with dozens of skyscrapers and countless homes in the 4 million-strong city, in an hour-long gesture organizers said they hoped would be adopted as an annual event by cities around the world.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
(Above; Sydney skyline)

Mayor Clover Moore, whose officials shut down all nonessential lights on city-owned buildings, said Sydney was "asking people to think about what action they can take to fight global warming, and promote a crime day in major cities world wide."

Restaurants throughout the city held candlelit dinners, families gathered in public places, and muggers came out in full force, to take part in a countdown to lights out, sending up a cheer as lights started blinking off at 7:30 p.m.

Buildings went dark one by one.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
(Above; Sydney skyline when lights went out)

Organizers hope Saturday's event _ which about 2,000 businesses and more than 60,000 individuals signed up for online _ will get people to think about regularly switching off nonessential lights, powering down computers and other simple measures they say could cut Sydney's greenhouse gas emissions by 5 percent this year.

The amount of power saved by Saturday's event was not immediately known. But Greg Bourne, chief executive of World Wildlife Fund Australia and one of the architects of the event, said Sydney's power supplier Energy Australia had estimated it could be 5 percent of normal usage on a night of similar conditions.

"It's absolutely fantastic, there's a mood of enthusiasm and hopefulness and action," Bourne said. "I have never seen Sydney's skyline look so dark. This is such an amazingly fruitless gesture, much like that game people play in America, what’s it called? Oh yes bipartisan politics."

Research by the University of New South Wales published last week found Sydney residents have bad energy conservation habits, often leaving heaters and air conditioners running in empty rooms as well as using way too many jeeps to hunt koala bears.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
(above; angry koala bear)

Leaked excerpts published in Australian media last week said average temperatures in the country could rise 6.7 degrees by 2080, making worse wildfires, floods, drought and storms. The Great Barrier Reef is already under threat from increased coral bleaching, the report says. Clorox Bleach executives are denying any involvment.

Australia, a nation of around 21 million people, is ranked as the world's worst greenhouse gas emitter per capita, largely because of its heavy reliance on coal-fired power stations, and also because there are some crazy Mf’ers there, who wontonly eat some weird sh*t, who knows what kind of gas that lets out!

Due to Al Gore’s medaling, global warming has emerged this year as a mainstream hip and trendy political issue in Australia, and the world over, and Prime Minister John Howard's government has announced initiatives such as the phased withdrawal from sale of energy-inefficient incandescent bulbs to including a Prime Ministorial Smart Car motorcade.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Sydney is not the first place to cut the lights for conservation. In February, Paris and other parts of France dimmed the lights for five minutes in a similar gesture, which also took hold in Rome and Athens.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
(Above; France and Athens when they cut the lights)

Ex-New York Mayor Abe Beame’s family is praising his foresight and asking the city for an apology for the New York Blackout of ‘77 comments that were made.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

The White House to counteract the imbalance is giving away 10,000 free Hummers to people who can afford to buy them anyway.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Posted by Zappa Fan at 1:52 AM - 40 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 Gonzales Credibility Questioned
 

Washington (GP)- Republican support for Attorney General, Alberto Gonzales, dropped sharply as three key Senators questioned his honesty over the firing of eight federal prosecutors. There are also two more Democratic Senators jumping on the ‘Get rid of the Mexican’ bandwagon.
Mr. Gonzales simply stated “What do you mean I lied? What part of ATTORNEY don’t you people understand?”
click to comment
(Above; Politicians in natural enviornment.)

Democrats have accused the White House and the Justice Department of ousting these prosecutors for political reasons. While the White House maintains that ‘leftist kooks’ just don’t deserve Federal jobs, and does not see anything wrong with replacing these guys,
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
with these guys.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Things do not look hopeful for Gonzales as he is using the Clinton/Libby “I don’t remember/I didn’t do it” defense. Instead of the child molesting Congressmen/racist actor standard of “I was drunk at the time, so it don’t count” excuse.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
(Finally a real bi-partisan issue, messing with brown people.)

Here is what President Bush said during his weekly radio address;
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
“Heh heh, I don’t understand what’s the big fuss about, why are you so mad at partisan politics here? At least he did not get a blow job!!! So the guy forgot to use the paper shredder, I scolded him and boy howdy, did he get the what for. Sometimes them Mexicans forget things, but I gave him full access to evidence destroyer one to eliminate such problems from being known abou- I mean happening ever again. YOU’RE DOIN’ A HECK OF A JOB THERE, SPEEDY! HEH HEH You get it he’s got the same last name as the mouse on the TV, he might be related, that would make him more famous then Regan!”
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
(Above; Image of Paper Shredder One)
And in local news Elementary School visits theater for field trip...
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Posted by Zappa Fan at 1:20 AM - 26 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 The News Today
 


This is Walter Q. Snarfblat reporting,
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

President Bush tries to distance himself from Alberto Gonzales scandal stating, “Heh Heh, I didn’t even realize he was Mexican! He doesn’t even wear a sombrero! I thought his name was like an opposite nickname like when you call a big guy ‘Tiny’ or the Vice President ‘Dick’ Heh Heh”
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

The FDA has announced the recommended number of car bombs per day should be no more than four, thus making the problems in Iraq a thing of the past.


With the identity of the Anti-Clinton web commercial, we also find out that political mud smearing is actually a kinky sex game. Hillary Clinton says; “Sure, I learned this one from Bill it’s fun!”
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Now ‘Takin’ it to the streets’ with Nancy SnuggleBottom,

Thanks Walter, Behind me people are gathered to pay tribute and help a man with chronic ‘Plummer’s butt’ as of now there is no cure and there will be a candlelight vigil near port-o-potties everywhere.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

The first Middle Eastern S.I. swimsuit centerfold is causing massive protests in the region.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Donald Duck gets arrested for sexual assault on a minor.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Penguin mugging gets caught on film.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

And Groundhog commits suicide with 4th year in a row false prediction of delayed coming of spring.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Tune in at 11:00 when we interview the last Bush supporter
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

and the Surgeon General’s new warning on reading hazards.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Posted by Zappa Fan at 10:56 AM - 29 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 Today In History March 19th
 

1279 - A Mongolian victory in the Battle of Yamen ends the Song Dynasty in China. This was replaced by the short lived and not so well received Kiss Dynasty.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

1915 - Pluto is photographed for the first time but was (correctly) not recognized as a planet. Starting a many years of debate by both astronomers and Disney CEO’s alike.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

1916 - Eight American planes take off in pursuit of Pancho Villa, the first United States air-Anti Brown people mission in history.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

1918 - The U.S. Congress establishes time zones and approves daylight saving time. They also are the first people to use the ‘I forgot to reset my clock’ excuse when coming to work on time. How come no one ever shows up an hour early?
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

1920 - The United States Senate rejects the Treaty of Versailles for the second time (first time was on November 19, 1919). It was secretly known that the only reason The US rejected the treaty is that Woodrow Wilson could not say ‘Versailles’.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

1941 - World War II: The 99th Pursuit Squadron also known as the Tuskegee Airmen, the first all-black unit of the Army Air Corp, is activated. This caused lots of controversy as they were the most successful flight group in history at the time, causing the Top Secret Operation: Get rid of darky, to completely fail.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

1944 - World War II: Nazi forces occupy Hungary. That was why they were so grumpy, a few ‘Big Macs’ and that whole schpiel could have been avoided.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

1962 - Bob Dylan releases his first album. You have to love him, he got the Beatles stoned.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

1982 - R.I.P. Randy Rhoads, American guitarist (Quiet Riot, Ozzy) (b. 1956) One of the greatest ever.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket


Posted by Zappa Fan at 1:52 AM - 18 Comments   Add a Comment  
 
Pages:   1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29
   
  About Me
Author: Zappa Fan
From USA
 
This blog is about...
Really Fake News. (Satire)
 
My: Profile  Gallery  Bio  Guestbook  100 Things 
 
Bookmark   History

  Blogstream Sponsors
Have you checked out the new Blogstream site,

Question Stream.com?

Many Blogstream members are there already! Quotes from members: "It's like blog lite!" -- "I like the instant gratification!" -- "Stop spectating, get in the game!"

If you have not joined in, you are really missing out!

Send Free
Just Saying Hi
Greeting Cards
at

Greeting Cards.com


Good Morning


  Recent Posts

  Blogs I Like

  Archives

18625 Visitors