And now The President of The United States



My fellow Americans, I too have listened to Iranian President Ahmadinejad’s interview, and would like to say, heh heh, that as the decider, I have decided some things that were quite difficult to decide. You see decision making, is making decisions worth deciding, and when your deciding on behalf of freedom, the decision must be based on proper deciding techniques. As President I have learned decision deciding, by ancient Chinese Foo Ching Decision Master, Sum Dum Guy.


I have decided that President Ahmadinejad’s goals are really not much different than our own here in America. For example: he believes Iran is a beacon of freedom where people can express their feelings without fear of persecution, American’s believe this also.


He also said that there is no gay people in Iran, well if you belong to the Republican Party you know there are no gay’s here as well.

(Larry Craig, perfoming with The Village People)

The President explained about Iran’s respect and devotion to women. Let me ask where are women more respected and revered than in America?


He spoke of researching the holocaust, and Nazi German more; I ask you how can we not better our future if we do not see the mistakes of the past?

(Thank you Blaast for the image)

As decider I have used my decision making techniques to work in unison with the Iranian President, then and only then, can we spread the creamy buttery goodness of freedom on the banana nut muffin that is the Middle East.

(I can't believe it's not Hitler!)

Thank you and good night.


Later in the News Gene Simmons replaces KISS with Slave Panda look-a-likes.

Hi my name is Jim Crow, as the head of the welcome committee for the town of Jena La. I would like to invite you to our town to see what life is really like here. Jena is filled with wonder and beauty, and is virtually unspoiled by man. Come and see our scenic landscapes.


Jena has long held a tradition of community and caring all year long we have Marti Gras, like festivities were locals welcome tourists from the world over.


Here in Jena we are proud of our multi-cultural background and heritage.


Jena has plenty of water activities to enjoy for the family.



If that is not your thing come see our aerospace museum,


Or botanical gardens.


Yes for a family vacation you will never forget come to Jena, where our slogan is, “Everyone welcome, unless you are Italian or Jewish.”

This message brought to you by Jena Airlines.

We interupt our normal silliness and stupidity for new silliness and stupidity. Dept. of Homoland Security has issued a new warning system so you can better protect yourself against 'cottaging' Republican Senators in airport restrooms. The new system is coded by color and is as follows.



Thank you and happy hunting.

We at the Geekly Planet have been honored to have His Holiness The Dalai Lama, write an OP-ED piece for us! It’s safe to say we can hardly contain ourselves


As The Dalai Lama I am often asked about reincarnation, as someone who has been reincarnated numerous times over the course of thousands of years people seem to thing I am an expert on the subject. That is of, course because, I am. To put it simply, Reincarnation, literally "to be made flesh again", is a doctrine or mystical belief that some essential part of a living being (in some variations only human beings) survives death to be reborn in a new body. This essential part is often referred to as the Spirit or Soul, the 'Higher or True Self', 'Divine Spark', 'I' or the 'Ego' (not to be confused with the ego as defined by psychology). According to such beliefs, a new personality is developed during each life in the physical world, but some part of the being remains constantly present throughout these successive lives as well.
It is well known that conventional Christian beliefs find this concept as heretic in nature, I am not asking you to believe as I do but to find comfort in it. The Buddhist has a karmic belief that how you live in this life determines how you will live in the next. For example a thief and a liar may be reborn as a snake.
So you may be asking yourself how can I, the modern Christian westerner take comfort in such a grandiose notion? By using your imagination anything is possible, if we take the previous example and put it in simple a simple visual perspective one can see quite easily why you can take comfort in such a notion.

Here we have Mother Teresa


By using our Reincarivision ® we can see what she may have turned into.


A majestic eagle soaring above us all at peace with all around her and safe from all peditors on land, truly a divine creature. Nice thought with karma’s ‘comes around, goes around’ philosophy we can now use this on others as well.

Here we have Bill Clinton.


Let's imagine what he will become in the next life.

Ahem!

Now let’s see Britney Spears,


Her next life,

oh well. (sorry Brit couldn't help it)

Next we will try George W. Bush


And later.......


see how we can find peace in the little things. Somehow dung beetle did not surprise me. Until next time this is the Dalai Lama givin' props to my peeps. Peace!

It’s the sixth anniversary of the WTC collapse, I hate the word anniversary for that day, and it seems too happy a word. I am first and foremost a New Yorker, it’s something I always will be, I still say ‘cawfee’ and no matter how hard I try still count one, two, tree.

I do not think I have anything profound or humorous to say on this day, I never do. Nor I want to make a political statement, in favor of my point of view; too many Americans have used this tragedy for their own ends. Aside from the anger that my country was invaded, there was another feeling that was the equivalent to that of having your house looted of everything right down to your family photos.


As a NYC resident, I spent the first 20 years of my life seeing this thing, that I have taken for granted, looked at in awe, or stared at the rest of the city from the top of with my girl on a very regular basis. It was always there, now it’s not, I will not be able to look at the world from it’s peak with my son, as my Grandpa did with me. Nor even drive over the bridge on my way to visit, and take comfort in its gleam that was always a beacon pointing me home.



I remember immense worry that my Dad, my Uncle and a family friend were either dead or severely hurt, as they work as a Cop, Paramedic, and Fireman, in NYC respectively. I had childhood friend whom also worked in the tower and other people that I am still close with that I knew might be in the area. I shed, like most, many a tear that day.
I also felt great joy and hope, when the people I love and care for were finally able to tell me that they were OK, I think that day brought me close to friends that I did not talk to in a long time. (Nikki and Cindy) I wrote e-mail to my friends and family that was greatly misunderstood. I had understood my own mortality that day, I wanted to say, that some people never get the chance to tell the ones they care about how they feel. (My Dad and I did not talk for 8 years or so) I wanted to simply say, ‘I love you’, before life in its peculiar way took away that chance to do so.

I hope to do the same thing now, just reach out and tell my virtual friends I care and I am thinking of them. There have been many whom have reached out to me, and I thank you. I look forward to hopefully making you smile with my own loopy perspective for a long time.
This is my tradition on this day, simply reaching out to embrace others. Maybe anniversary is not such a bad word after all.



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