NYC, New York (GP) -
At a tasteful dinner party on the Upper West Side of Manhattan,
scientist, Emmanuel R. Snugglebottum accidently comes across a startling discovery. The elusive gay DNA gene that researchers and the community have been hoping to find in order to put to rest the ignorance and stubbornness of the general population.

It was in fact a closely guarded secret that ‘gay gene’ has been in a long term committed relationship with popular Broadway actor/producer Harvey Firestien. Here is what he has to say, “OH MY GAWD! How could this happen? Who invited Dr. Snugglebottum? I have to call my mother!”

(Pictured above; Harvey Firestien and the ellusive 'gay gene' not to be confused with Gay Gene on the far right)

Dr. Snugglebottum said, he would not have even recognized the gene had he not known the difference between pink and salmon.

Having been outed in such a pubic manner ‘Gay Gene’ has decided to release this offical statement. “Hay-all, boy is this a pickle! Well I guess you want to know where I came from and what I am all about. You see I originated in an underground lab in the 1920's (They didn’t call ‘em roaring for nothing!) By a bunch of underground female scientists. They started the idea of genetically producing the perfect man, you know one that can bath, dress themselves, enjoy shopping, have tasteful decorating sense, and really get a kick out of nick-nacks. ANYWAY, through a missed placed decimal point they created me, the father of queens, if you will. I have since traveled the world and have gone everywhere (except Iran) literally sucking people into my lifestyle, and pushing forward my agenda. That is, by the way, to make show-tunes and boxer briefs legitimate art forms.” He then added “ROSEMARY CLOONEY ROCKS!”

(above; Rosemary Clooney indeed she does rock!)

Get ready for the new, new Addams Family series, Gomez Makes a bid for the Presidency. Of course some changes need to be made to the White House.



With Rudolf “9-11" Gulianni as Gomez,


Debra Cagen as Mortitia


John Kerry as Cousin it,


Dick Cheney as Uncle Fester


Hillary Clinton as The Vampire Bat Walrus


Fred “Sleepy” Thompson as Lurch,


And George and Laura as the incestuous duo Pugsley and Tuesday

Manhattan, NY (GP) -

When President Bush changed his stance on the global warming issue he did so not because of advisers, science or the American People. He did so because he saw first hand what many New Yorkers knew already. Arctic ‘vermin’ have lost much of their land due to rising temperatures and have come to New York to “make it”.

Unfortunately for every Wally Walrus, Chilly Willy, and Coca-Cola polar bear there are hundreds more of the poor souls you are going to hear about right now. Many of these lost souls are homeless, dealing drugs or have just turned to other criminal activities just to make ends meat in the land of plenty. Some of these Images may be disturbing to young children and you may want to ask them to leave the room.

We’ll start with Elroy Walrus, in his homeland he was the alpha-male, a full harem of female walruses at his disposal and a lucrative business in penguin entrails. He came here as an aspiring actor and hoped to make it big like other walruses before him. Elroy says; ‘I did not know it would be so hard. Showbiz is crazy they are so picky first my tusks were too small, I had to prostitute my girls to get tusk implants then they met cool breeze and he took my girls. At my last audition they loved my new look but did not take me because of my name, “Who’s gonna remember Elroy Walrus? Sorry man you ain’t no Wally. Next thing you know I am out on the streets begging.’

(Above; Elroy Walrus "Will Work For Sushi")

Next we have Jake the polar bear he got here when his high-rise iceberg went adrift and landed him right on Ellis Island there he has stayed. ‘I like the water’ he says, ‘I get to shake down tourists for cash and every once in a while I get to eat one or two, the cops don’t care as long as they’re darker then me!’

(Above; Jake at Ellis Island)

Lastly, and most sinister we have Pauly “Sardino” Penguin, alleged Don of the Tuxedo Family, Pauly came to NY, with a darker porpoise in mind. As ring leader he is allegedly in control of all underground fish oil dealing in the country. Here is a few words from Pauly, ‘How many times I gotta tell youse people AH? There is no tuxedo family, me and the boys run a simple show at the central park zoo. Ain’t you seen that movie?’

(Pauly Penguin, out late)

Democrats propose legalizing heroin, then with the tax money we can have support programs to help these critters. While Republicans build a guarded snow fort you can see from space across the Canadian border.


(Above; Minute Men Telling an orphin Baby Seal, speak English or get out!)

Think This

Recently Ann Coulter said this: “It would be a much better country if women did not vote. That is simply a fact. In fact, in every presidential election since 1950 - except Goldwater in '64 - the Republican would have won, if only the men had voted”.

In the cases of our forefathers until about the WWII gerneration maybe I could agree with this statement, as all people seemed to have had the wit and wisdom to do and be someone great. Afterwards the combonation of recessed genes, TV, and false media, polarized politics and out right neo-fascist pundits such as herself and others on both sides of the fence has me wondering why Bob Denver was never elected. I feel gipped!

Let us now imagine, if you will a modern America where only men are allowed to vote and to see the critirea the modern man would use in the voting process.

Music Please,




Mitt Rommney’s wife is a blistering blonde bombshell who been a stay a home Mom for five yes five children! (we know she’s a buzy little bee!) A fighter she has put up a respectable fight so far against MS. We all love woman with sass. Last but not least she is an avid equestrian. Who does not love horse chicks?
If you think she’s the hottest possible first lady call 1-880-2DO-HER1.


Barrok Obama
Is this country ready for Jungle fever. Michell Obama is one Vanity Fair’s best dressed people in 2007 and Essence’s most inspirational black woman 2003. With credencials like that do you really need more? Wait there is more having went to both Harvard and Princeton this beauty has brains too! After her will America even want to go back!
If you want Michelle and you know you do call 1-880-2DO-HER2.


Rudolf Guliani
Want can you say about Judy G! She likes married, balding, cross dressing, proabortion republicans. Giving the voting majority hopes that they too can get a piece in the Oval Office. This dark haired beauty wants you, to vote for her mann! Call 1-880-2DO-HER3.


Bill Richardson
Here to you Mrs. Richardson! We all know she loves a little Latin spice in her life and that’s about it! If you like mystery woman, call 1-880-2DO-HER4.


Fred Thomson
Jeri is something else, just spectacular! A trophy wife with an agenda, boys she likes them old and bald too so don’t be bashful. A native of Nebraska she is a heart of the country girl! Call 1-800-2DO-HER5.


Hillary Clinton
A male first lady? We already know with this one anything goes! So if the Homosexuallifacation of America is ready to be complete, call 1-880-2DO-HER6. I love this country!


Last but not least, Dennis Kucinich
This red headed, tongue ring wearing, British talking, hippy looking woman is a hell of a hottie and gives all geeky white pastey men the world over that there is hope for us as well! Call 1-880-2DO-HER7.

At the beach with Star Jones


Sgt. Baker did not think his gear would come in handy at home, until he forgot to take out the trash.


Finally an answer to the age old question!


In a perfect world.


Hillary made mandatory badges for White House aids incase her husband gets to move into the White House again.


HMMMM! I just love frozen Gaylord cream!


Stain glasswork from Our Lady of Perpetual Pedophilia Church.


Did they get married at the above, mentioned church?


What happens when freedom hits the Middle East.


New stealth bomber, THEY ARE EVERYWHERE!