Right now someone is taking it for the team.


Right now someone is working on the fuel crisis.


Right now I am in trouble for posting this.


Right now someone is desperate.


Right now someone is confused.


Right now someone is disappointed.


Right now some sheep are nervous.


Right now someone just smiled.

This is the sign in front of Congress.


The PC term is mentally challenged,


That's my church.


Hey look what I can do!


Bra delivery for Ms. Anderson!


They need their teeth cleaned too.


New Exibit in Key West.

Northeastern states are in a huff over a beer manufacturer about inappropriate labels. The powers that be insist that these labels “are meant to target children” and is “inappropriate to see Santa holding a beer.”

Why? Is Santa not over 21? After his around the world toys for tots journey is he not allowed to kick back with a cold one and pinch Mrs. Clause’s tushy? Do we really not have anything better to worry about than the label on a bottle, that this is what we put into our court system?

Of course it is! Evil is every where and we must protect our precious children from these harmful things like suggestive labels and porn masquerading as art.( The cleavage on the Mona Lisa is most disturbing) We must as a society protect our youth from these perverts by outlawing everything we deem offensive.

This message brought to you by.............

1835 - Hans Christian Andersen publishes first book of fairy tales. Starting thousands of children on the road to manic depression and Paxil.


1918 - Transylvania unites with Romania, following the March 27 incorporation of Bessarabia and Bucovina. Legend has it that Count Dracula is quite pissed and moves to a “much more stable” economic environment like the one in America.


1935 - Happy Birthday to Woody Allen, American film director, actor, and comedian Who later became well known for ‘helping’ orphins.


1941 - World War II: Mayor of New York City, Fiorello LaGuardia, and the director of the Office of Civilian Defense, sign an order creating the Civil Air Patrol. Of which, we are all very grateful as the airport in New York would still be known as the Otis G Snarfblatt, memorial airport. Mr. Snarfblatt was the inventor of ‘The dirty Sanchez’.


1955 - American Civil Rights Movement: In Montgomery, Alabama, seamstress Rosa Parks refuses to give her bus seat to a white man and is arrested for violating the city's racial segregation laws, an incident which leads to the Montgomery Bus Boycott. Though very proud of this great woman, some in the African-American community were ‘a bit peeved’ with her as it was a long walk to work.



2005 - South Africa's Constitutional Court extends marriage equality to homosexual couples.
Well dip me in motor oil and call me slick, next ting you know THEY will want to have babies. This whole world has gone to hell in a handbasket ever since Sammy Hagar left Van Halen.

Ladies and Gentlemen we interrupt our normal posting of humor and satirical stupidity to bring you the latest evil, maniacal conspiracy. A story so big, that it may just shake the foundations of society as we know it. We at The Geekly Planet are not here to cause panic or controversy, but we are printing this at great personal risk to the editors to keep you, the general public safer.

We speak of a man who is more of a legend, a man who embodies all that is pure and good about our country and way of life. A man that has earned the trust of each and every good Christian man, woman and child, then betrayed that trust. Who is it you ask? George W. Bush? Metallica’s James Hetfield? Eva Gabor? No folks I am sad to report it is non other than Santa Clause himself.

Yes, the jolly fat man who comes right in to our living rooms each year to bring toys and other such things, is really the embodiment of pure evil and political incorrectness. The photographic evidence of cruelty and debauchery is overwhelming.



It all starts with a little nip,



next thing you know your boozing it up big time.



What’s in the pipe Santa?



Asian Porn in Santa’s closet!



PETS!!??



Secret US government Santa cloning factory.



Non-paid racially pure workforce.



“Psst, kid Big Bird just got sucked into the engine of a B-51 bomber! Heh heh heh”



“Hey! That’s my wife!!!!”

There you have it folks lock up your chimneys and don’t leave cookies, because Santa may be after you next.

We heard rumors of a larger even more sinister power behind this plot to corrupt America with greed, but that is another post.......