1848 - The Palermo rising in Sicily rises against the Bourbon kingdom of the Two Sicilies. Inspiring Charles Dickens to write the not so classic Tale of Two Sicilies. Which was scrapped for a lesser known book of a similar title.


1915 - The Rocky Mountain National Park is formed by an act of U.S. Congress. Dolly Parton was there to cut the ribbon for the grand opening ceremony.


1915 -United States House of Representatives rejects proposal to give women the right to vote. Thus starting the first official chapter of the He-Man Woman Haters Club, Later taken over by Spanky and Alfalfa, and now run (apparently by hostile takeover) By some blogger who keeps changing his name. Who does he think he is Prince?


1966 - Batman the TV series debuts on ABC. It is believed that the term “That’s so gay” was coined at the same time.


1967 - Dr. James Bedford becomes the first person to be cryonically preserved with intent of future resuscitation. I say we wake him up in a dark room with antenna on our heads and make ‘beep beep’ noises.

1969 - Led Zeppelin's debut album released.

1970 - Happy Birthday Zack de la Rocha, American musician


1971 - All in the Family debuts on CBS. Finally racists have a positive role model.


1986 - Space Shuttle program: STS-61-C mission - Space Shuttle Columbia takes-off with the first Hispanic-American astronaut, Dr. Franklin R. Chang-Diaz. It was the last successful mission before STS-51-L. There is a rumor, that the only way he would get into the shuttle is if it had spinning rims and fuzzy dice.

We interrupt this post to bring you a special bulletin, Mr. Happy is on the loose and considered extremely dangerous, do not try to approach the suspect with out proper protection. He is armed with ‘white goo’. And apparently a master of disguse.

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As the President is sharpening his veto pen, for yet again the concept of stem cell and the research there of, we here at The Geekly Planet thought we could help you form your own unbiased opinion of this highly controversial, albeit, quite fascinating subject. The primary tool in this experiment will be some spectacular photography, showcasing the miracle human life being formed.







Now that you have seen the photos look at these,

(above; Rosa Parks, Mother of the American Civil Rights Movement and Great Woman of American History)


(above; some lady who is afraid of rain)

Now is the moment of truth, ask your self “Genetically Speaking, am I more likely to bring a Rosa Parks or yet another nut job in this world”

When you can be honest, you will know what side of the stem cell issue you really stand.

And now the news.....................................................



“This is Wallace T. Snarfblat reporting;

Actor Vern ‘Mini Me’ Troyer was seen whooping it up in local club last night, a woman complained the he would not stop staring at her knee caps.



In local events today Goeff Snugglebottum, the man who fought a life threatening illness, not only to return twice the man, but to become a motivational speaker to help others with the same problems will be at the John Jay High School auditorium.


A man who would only address himself as Mr. Happy has caused quite a stir at the beach today, he apparently was loitering, and when asked to leave blinded the police with some unknown, ‘white goo’, he is still at large.


A local man does his impersonation of the Bush Family political career.


A Hollywood updated version of the TV show CHiP’S will be released next summer, starring Macauley Cullkin as John Poncherello.


Ernie and Bert come out of the closet, They are leaving Sesame Street to be married.


This report brought to you by,

and,


This is Wallace T. Snarfblat, Good night.

As Democrats take the mantle of power (about as gracefully as a Pee Wee football team) a note was sent to the first ever female House Speaker, Nancy Pelosi with a simple message.

mandate >noun 1 an official order or authorization. 2 the authority to carry out a policy, regarded as given by the electorate to a party or candidate that wins an election. 3 historical a commission from the League of Nations to a member state to administer a territory. >verb 1 give (someone) authority to act in a certain way. 2 make compulsory.
-ORIGIN Latin mandatum 'something commanded'.

Seemingly to remind her what she and the Democrats have been given last election. However it was misread as a threat and Warren P. Snarfblatt III was arrested for threatening a congressperson.

Mr Snarfblatt was available for comment

“This was all one big misunderstanding, I just was not sure she knew what the word meant. I mean last week she said this ‘When my colleagues elect me as speaker on Jan. 4, we will not just break through a glass ceiling, we will break through a marble ceiling," who is set to lead the In more than 200 years of history, there was an established pecking order _ and I cut in line.’ I mean who talks like that? And what sort of wingnut puts marble on a ceiling?”



(Why is she clubing those children they do not look anything like baby seals? Perhaps she is just the kind of wingnut Ol' Snarfbalt is talking about.)

He added "The other option is just downright scary!"



There is some speculation that this is some sort of diversionary tactic by the Bush administration to divert attention from the war.



George W. Bush was able to take time from his much needed Texas Tea hot spring bath off the coast of Key Largo. (A wartime President needs his rest) to say,

“Heh, Heh, That is just ludic- luda- that’s just stupid! I am so busy right now. Trying to find a lawyer willing to try to cover my tracks is tougher than finding flood insurance in New Orleans right now. I also need to find a way to extend the war so’s I can pass the buck and have someone else get blamed for the past few years, gosh I hope Hillary gets elected. Then there is my new double secret project, Operation: Anti Brown People with big moustaches anti- terrorist trap, that I want to implement by the Mexican border, I am too busy for such hi-jinks.” he then added in his best Roscoe P. Coltrain voice,




(Bush demonstrating his new anti terrorist trap, which is funded by ACME)

Other politicians are worried with Bush’s new policies are placing the blame for the problems with Iraq where it belongs, on Iraq,

Rep. Heather Wilson, R-N.M., an Air Force veteran and member of the House Intelligence Committee, said she would not support increasing troop levels "to do for the Iraqis what the Iraqis will not do for themselves."

And

"I hope he matches it with a new strategy that will shift responsibility for security to Iraqis and begin the responsible redeployment of American forces," said Rep. Ike Skelton, D-Mo., chairman of the Armed Services Committee.

While the spokesperson for the focus group E.R.A.F.B.P.W.B.M. (Equal Rights Advancement For People With Big Moustaches) had this to say.


"I'm disgusted."

January 1 - Russia cuts natural gas to Ukraine over a price dispute.


January 2 - The Bad Reichenhall ice rink roof in Germany collapses after heavy snowfall in the Bavarian Alps, killing 15. George Clinton and the P-Funk is blamed.


January 4 - Powers are transferred from Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon to his deputy, Vice Prime Minister Ehud Olmert, after Sharon suffers a massive hemorrhagic stroke. Creating even more trouble in the middle-east, and giving anti-Semites another reason to complain.


January 14 - A natural gas explosion in a coal mine kills 8 in Romania. Russia has officially apologizes for giving Romania the surplus that they did not send to the Ukraine.

January 22 - Kobe Bryant of the Los Angeles Lakers scores 81 points in a regulation NBA game, second only to Wilt Chamberlain who scored 100 points on December 8, 1961. Thus making raping that girl a few years back seem silly.

January 28 - A trade hall roof collapses in Katowice, Poland, killing 65 people. George Clinton is again blamed and people start banning the “We want the funk (Tear the roof off this sucka)” from public places. Republicans are thrilled as Black folks and a Clinton was inplicated at the same time.

January 31 - Samuel Alito is sworn in as an associate justice of the Supreme Court of the United States. Just one, in a long line of mistakes for W.

February 5 - The Pittsburgh Steelers win Super Bowl XL, defeating the Seattle Seahawks 21-10. There is a rumor that all hell froze over this very day.

February 10 - The 2006 Winter Olympics open in Turin, Italy. The closing ceremony occurs on February 26. Once again Jesus was overlooked, but this time for a “Flying Tomato”.


February 11 - U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shoots his friend and lawyer, Harry Whittington, in the face with a shotgun on a south Texas ranch. Redneck everywhere start using the “Well he looked like a yellow bellied sap sucker” excuse more frequently.


February 23 - A roof collapses on a Moscow market, killing 56 people. Damn you George Clinton!!!!


March 11 - Slobodan Miloševićc was found dead in his cell in the UN war crimes tribunal's detention centre, located in the Scheveningen section of The Hague. My guess is he dies of shame as he could not spell his name either.


March 25 - An estimated 500,000 people take to the streets in downtown Los Angeles to protest a proposed federal crackdown on illegal immigration. I knew it! They do understand Engish!!

April 8 - Shedden massacre: The bodies of 8 murdered men are found in Shedden, Elgin County, Ontario. Canadians call 8 murders a massacre, pussies!

April 9 - Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon is removed from office after 4 months in a coma.
Things were finally looking up for Israel, can have that now can we?

June 3 - Seventeen men are arrested in the Greater Toronto Area for alleged ties to a terrorist plot to blow up targets in the region. Proving to my friend John that Canadians do to “do sh*t”.


June 29 - Hamdan v. Rumsfeld: The United States Supreme Court rules that the military commissions to be used to try some detainees in the Guantanamo Bay detainment camp are illegal. Rumsfeld joke will show up later.

July 5 - North Korea test fires at least 7 missiles including a long-range Taepodong-2.

Lil’ Kim

July 31 - Zappa Fan post 'The Geekly Planet' for the first time, it is by now the second, no wait, make that the first least liked blog in the world.

July 31 - Fidel Castro, President of Cuba, temporarily relinquishes power to his brother Raúl before surgery. Their mom must be so proud.

September 4 - Steve Irwin, Australian environmentalist and television personality (b. 1962) dies a relatively ironic death at the tail of a creature that is ‘mostly harmless’. Do you think his last thoughts were “Crikey, he looks pissed off now!”

September 12 - Pope Benedict XVI gives a lecture in Germany; he quotes a criticism of the Islam faith, sparking mass protest. That was a good day.


September 15 - Spinach contaminated with E. coli kills 1 person and poisons over 100 others in 20 states of the United States. Many Americans finally realize that E. Coli is not and on-line trading company. Congrats!!!

September 29 - U.S. Representative Mark Foley (R-FL) resigns after it is revealed that he sent explicit e-mails for several years to underage male pages. Wait I thought they stopped making child molesting gay republicans years ago!!!



October 23 - Jeffrey Skilling is sentenced to 24 years and 4 months in federal prison on charges relating to the financial collapse of Enron. His partner Ken Lay died earlier leaving his family Billions in other peoples money. Good times!

October 31 - A comment by US senator John Kerry raises nationwide outrage after accidentally insulting the intelligence of American troops in Iraq. He explained that he botched a joke meant to insult the intelligence of president George W. Bush, and later apologized to anyone offended by his comment.

November 3 - Ted Haggard resigns as president of the National Association of Evangelicals, after allegations of methamphetamine use and sex with a male prostitute. AT least he wasn’t Catholic.

November 8 - U.S. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld resigns; President Bush calls him best Defence Secretary ever, wait there's that punchline I was searching for eariler.
and television personality (b. 1962)

December 25 - James Brown, American singer (b. 1933) Guess he didn’t “feel good”

December 30 - Saddam Hussein is hung.