What Saddam Hussien is really doing right now.


Right now we are worried about American Idle.


Right now someone is getting the bull by the horns.


Right now 80's hairband Poison is auditioning new lead singer.


Right now a romance is failing.


Right now someone is being used.


Right now someone left their headlights on.

WASHINGTON(GP)

Gov. Bill What’s- His- Name (D)N.M., said Sunday he is taking the first step toward an expected White House run in 2008, offering extensive experience in Washington and the world stage as he seeks to become the first Hispanic president. That guy said, “Ever since salsa took the place of ketchup as America’s favorite condiment, I knew I had a chance!”


Like most Democrats he claims to be an improvement over the current President."I am taking this step because we have to repair the damage that's been done to our country over the last six years, Our reputation in the world is diminished, our economy has languished, and civility and common decency in government has perished," " said that guy, to someone standing outside Taco Bell, who then gave him some change in hopes that he’ll just go away.


Gov. Bill Waddayacallhim will be up against Democrat heavy hitters such as Hillary Clinton, and Barack Obama, who each had this to say,

“Who is this guy anyway? He’s running for President? I thought he was bringing me lemonade!”
said Senator Clinton


“Playa please, no way you gonna take the Presi-desi from the real deal, you dig?”
Retorted Senator Obama of the Obama-Nation.


Gov. Bill Thingamajig said he had set up an exploratory committee that will allow him to begin raising money and assembling his campaign organization.


"The governor is in it to run for president," spokesman Juan Valdez said. The formal announcement will come in March after the end of coffee bean season, he said. Maybe with such a celebrity behind him that dude may have a chance.
"Hee Haw!", added his donkey.


Also Batdog has announced his intention to run for the Democrats.

1189 - Philip II of France and Richard I of England begin to assemble troops to wage the Third Crusade. This is seemingly the blueprint for the current “crusade” in Iraq.


1276 - Innocent V becomes Pope. Talk about an ironic name!

1899 - Opel Motors opens for business. All this time in business and still nobody wants one.

1922 - Telly Savalas, American actor (d. 1994) “Who love’s ya baby!”


1938 - Wolfman Jack, disk jockey and actor (d. 1995)


1975 - Nicky Butt, English footballer (I just said Butt)


1977 - President Jimmy Carter pardons nearly all American Vietnam War draft evaders, some of whom had emigrated to Canada. Clearing the way for both Presidents Clinton and Bush to gain the White House, Gee thanks dude!


1999 - War on Drugs: In one of the largest drug busts in American history, the United States Coast Guard intercepts a ship with over 9,500 pounds (4,300 kg) of cocaine on board. In accordance with the laws of supply and demand only made the stuff more expensive.

Washington D.C.-

Tensions flair in Washington as the Bush administration tries to sell the idea of a “surge” of troops in Iraq to both the public and Congress.


Democrats sought to bring public pressure to bear on the president's new policy as Bush and senior administration officials worked to limit Republican defections when the issue comes before Congress, but Republicans were quick to dismiss them.

(These are real, by the way)
'If you can help us out, I really appreciate your help,'" Sen. Wayne Allard, R-Colo., said after a White House meeting with the commander in chief.


House Republican Leader John Boehner (pronounced “boner”), R-Ohio, chided Democrats. "If Democrat leaders don't support the president's plan," he said, "it's their responsibility to put forward a plan of their own for achieving victory."

A defiant Cheney, meanwhile, said Democrats “offered criticism without credible alternatives.”


Even W himself, was also stating “if anyone has a better plan then I would like to hear it.”


Democrats were trumped and silenced by these and other statements like this because a bipartisan panel was never appointed on March 15, 2006, by the United States Congress, that was charged with assessing the situation in Iraq and the US-led Iraq War and making policy recommendations. Had something like this had happened, they would have listened.

Atalanta, Georgia- Jeffery Snarfblat



As people from all races and walks of life come out to celebrate and march in honor of Martin Luther King Jr.'s Birthday, celebrities were there also to share the joy of this great leader.

“It’s times like this, I really remember why I do what I do and fight so hard for the cause I so much believe in, I know that one day my hard work will pay off”

(David Duke)

“I just was on the radio with Jesse Jackson and it amazing how everyone including MLK look just like him.”

(Michael Richards)

“Snarfblat, you ain’t Jewish are you?”

(Mel Gibson)

President George W. Bush was also on hand for the celebration.

“Heh, Heh, when I see Dr. King, I am reminded a lot of myself, except, he was darker,
poorer, and a great leader. He also cared about the minorities in this country, and unity among the American people. (That’s different also) He gave some great speeches as well, I mean that guy could move his mouth purdier than a twenty dollar whore. I just don’t know why he didn’t write them in crayon, my speeches are all written that way sometimes I even use all 64 colors in the Crayola set! Since this is a holiday can I start my vacation now? Heh, Heh”