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The Geekly Planet


 African Americans - “Finally Justice”
 

California (GP) - After two hundred years of oppression and unequal treatment African Americans around the country are celebrating as justice is finally served here in Hollywood, the heartland of America. Here is an excerpt of Reverend Al Sharptons speech;
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“My brothers and sisters today is a day of celebration, a day where we can finally forgive the government for their oppression! A day we can finally feel good about not getting our 40 acres and a mule. Because Disney has given us a Black princess! MLK would be proud, Can I get an AMEN!? Just why do they have her kissin frogs?”

Yes after all this time and squeezing every nationality in from Asian to Middle Eastern, Disney reluctantly bequeathed unto us an African American Princess, complete with bling, in the movie remake of the classic tale ‘The Frog Prince’.
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(There she is Princess Maddy, it is said her carriage has sweet spinners)

This news was not though, welcomed by all.

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“Well they finally got what they wanted, they probably still won’t be happy.”

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“Shocked I am, that in a world seeking global peace, and David Lee Roth can rejoin Van Halen again that things like this can happen! I mean what next, we’ll have a woman running for President?!”

Well this is one reporter who feels he can finally rid himself of all that white mans guilt, as we are absolved from the sins of American history.
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Posted by Zappa Fan at 10:43 AM - 32 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 Right Now!
 

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Someone is getting married, right now.

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Right now most men are self centered.

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Right now someone is going to sh*t themselves.

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Right now, Biggie T and Marc are putting a new item in their store. (sorry guys I could not help it.)

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Right now someone is biting off more than they can chew.

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What Nemo is doing right now.

and remember kiddies,
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Posted by Zappa Fan at 1:02 AM - 15 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 Cross River students suspended for saying 'vagina' at open mic session
 

This is a true story. This is also about my old High School. It is also a work of satire.

CROSS RIVER (GP)- Saying the word "vagina" during a reading at a John Jay High School open mic session has resulted in suspension for three female students and has sparked a debate about censorship throughout the community.
School administrators had warned the girls it would be inappropriate to say the word while reading a selection from Eve Ensler's "The Vagina Monologues," but the students were willing to suffer the consequences.
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(above; John Jay Senior High School Officals)

Now Ensler, a playwright and feminist who grew up in Scarsdale, has offered to visit the Katonah-Lewisboro school district to discuss the matter.

Juniors Megan Reback, Elan Stahl and Hannah Levinson will each serve separate one-day, in-school suspensions this week, Reback said.
"When I was able to say the word 'vagina' and be proud to say it … and it wasn't crude and it wasn't inappropriate and it was very real and very pure, it was important to me," Reback said yesterday. "We were willing and ready to take whatever came."

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The administrators' decision to suspend the girls has caused an uproar within the school, with students making T-shirts and posters to protest the punishment. A group opposed to the suspension has been created on Facebook.com, a popular Internet networking site, and had attracted more than 350 members yesterday.

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(People protesting)

The move has prompted parents to write to the Board of Education and circulate e-mails calling the suspension a "blatant attempt at censorship."

School board President Peter Breslin said the decision to suspend the students was not about censorship, but rather about insubordination. He said school administrators had been concerned about the use of the word because young children would be at the open mic session, and the girls had agreed not to say it.

(Above; How Peter Brislin sees himself)

"I think the students need to understand that if you make an agreement with the administration to do something, and then you don't do it, there's going to be consequences for that," he said. "We are very committed to free expression and we do not tolerate censorship in our district. Unless we deem in necessary. Zieg Hiel!"
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(Above; What can happen if you do not know about the vagina.)

"The Vagina Monologues" is a book based on interviews with more than 200 women about their experiences of sexuality. Since being written in 1996 as a response to the guilt and embarrassment many women still connect with their bodies, the book has been translated into 45 languages and been performed in cities throughout the world.
The piece has also led to the founding of "V-Day," an international grass-roots movement dedicated to stopping violence against women. It is celebrated Feb. 14 with people performing "The Vagina Monologues" and raising money for the cause.
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(above; A photo of Priciple Leprine, taking a well deserved break from school and his forth coming book- Woman Beating For Dummies)

Ensler offered yesterday to take part in a public meeting to discuss with students, parents and educators why it was important for girls of high school age to feel comfortable saying the word "vagina."
The author said much of the violence that happens to women in the United States occurs because they are "disempowered by lack of education."

"What is wrong about the word 'vagina,' which is the correct biological term for a body part?" Ensler asked. "It is not slang. It is not dirty or racy. The fact that it was censored is an indication of exactly what is going on in American schools, where girls and boys are not being educated about their bodies in a healthy way. We're pushing everything into the closet.

"We need open, healthy sex education where girls know and love their bodies," said Ensler, who addressed the United Nations yesterday during an international conference dedicated to stopping rape as a weapon in conflict.

The controversy in Cross River centers around the verse: "My short skirt is a liberation flag in the women's army. I declare these streets, any streets, it’s vagina country."

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(My Guess is he’s never been to Vagina Country)

The words were part of a longer selection, which the three girls had divided among themselves.
Leading up to the performance, the girls had debated whether to say the word that they knew would get them into trouble. One idea they discussed was to not actually say the word, but rather hold up a sign with the word written on it.

Ultimately, however, they decided to say "vagina" because they did not feel they had the liberty to change a work of art.
All three girls read the final line together, as a sign of unity.
"I think almost everyone can agree it's important to uphold the integrity of literature and not change or alter it," Reback said.

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(Above; Lenard Nemoy telling about his trip to Vagina Country)

School administrators did not return requests for comment yesterday, but Breslin, the board president, pointed to the district's stance against censorship during a debate over Nadine Gordimer's "July's People." The book is part of the 10th-grade curriculum, despite parents' criticism about its sexual and racial content.
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(President Bush showing his views about the puss- I mean Vagina)

As for a student's right to free expression, the U.S. Supreme Court has said students "do not shed their constitutional rights to freedom of speech and expression at the schoolhouse gate."
Public school officials, however, may regulate student expression that substantially disrupts the school environment or that infringes on the rights of others. Many courts have held that school officials can restrict student speech that is lewd, The First Amendment Center said.

Allen Hershkowitz, a 51-year-old environmental scientist with two children in the high school, said suspending the students was not only a form of censorship, but was also bad educating. He would like to see the administrators apologize for making a mistake.
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(Now that’s one angry pus- I mean vagina)

"No one should be embarrassed to use the word 'vagina,' " said Hershkowitz, a former Lewisboro town councilman. "It's exactly the opposite message we should be teaching our children. ... That's when problems arise, when they're not informed and not feeling comfortable referring to their bodies."

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(Sorry girls that’s a little too comfortable)

This is a serious request the number for John Jay High School is 914-763-7200, please call the school press 0 for the operator and say 'vagina'. Tell them to stop the craziness.

In other news Democrats get tough on President Bush.
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Posted by Zappa Fan at 2:37 PM - 18 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 Spielberg Turns Up With Stolen Rockwell
 



Hollywood Ca.-

Recently famed director Steven Spielburg, was seen with Rockwell, not so famed singer who disappeared sometime in the 80's after the not directed by Spielburg “Ghostbusters” movie.
Rockwell was recognized, by one of Spielburg’s staff who happen to be doing a ‘Where Are They Now?’ Project for college.

Spielberg said, “He wasn’t stolen, he just never left after a party we threw in 93'. I thought he was on the staff or something. I am glad this is all sorted out I wanted to fire him but my wife said he had problems, telling people he was a singer, walking around saying ‘Can't I have no privacy?’ at the top of his lungs, I thought it was some kind of genetically mutated form of Turrets Syndrome.” Just then someone dumped a wheel barrow full of 1000 dollar bills at his feet, saying “More money Mr. Spielberg!”

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Now that Rockwell has been found hopefully we can look forward to more timeless hits- excuse me, what’s that, you meant Norman Rockwell, Oh never mind.

Up next Rebublican Snowmen say Global warming a myth.
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Posted by Zappa Fan at 10:07 AM - 32 Comments   Add a Comment  
 
 Louie, Louie-Perspectives
 

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Made popular by The Kingsmen, Louie, Louie was a song with completely undecipherable lyrics. Arguably the first party anthem ever, we all just sang what ever came to mind, as per what we may have been thinking at the time. Well, to clear matters up a little here are the original lyrics as written by The Kingsmen,
Louie Louie, oh no
Me gotta go
Aye-yi-yi-yi, I said
Louie Louie, oh baby
Me gotta go
Fine little girl waits for me
Catch a ship across the sea
Sail that ship about, all alone
Never know if I make it home
CHORUS
Three nights and days I sail the sea
Think of girl, constantly
On that ship, I dream she's there
I smell the rose in her hair.
CHORUS
Okay, let's give it to 'em, right now!
See Jamaica, the moon above
It won't be long, me see me love
Take her in my arms again
Tell her I'll never leave again
CHORUS
Let's take it on outa here now
Let's go!!
As a special treat we have asked some friends of The Geekly Planet to interpret the Lyrics for us.

Louie, Louie as heard by G.W. Bush
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Money Oh Money Oh Baby
Me love it so
Ai Ai Ai Ai
Money oh Money Oh Baby
Me Love it so
Ai Ai Ai Ai
I bathe in oil
three times a week
Katrina come
turn the other cheek
Iraq, Iran
no difference to me
start a war
and get rid of darky
Chorus

As heard by former President Clinton
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Hilly no gimme oh baby
Monica Blow
Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah
Hilly no gimme oh no
Monica Blow

Rent out White House
For Two terms
Had some fun
with a chuby intern
Some men they come
Try to impeach
But my schlong
so far out of reach
Chorus

Thank you guys so much for sharing with us, do not feel so bad that you were so far off. For years I thought Hendix said ‘Scuse me while I kiss this guy!’

Posted by Zappa Fan at 1:27 AM - 7 Comments   Add a Comment  
 
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