(I find this concept funny)


FOR SALE: G-DUB Toaster only $5.00 a gallon.


“…… Then they did horrible things to me, No one will know who I am right?”


from the onion


from Bartcop




I have this fear……………..

.............TO ANY AND ALL THAT HAVE BEEN ASKING WHERE I AM....
I am so sorry for not answering comments. I have been so busy at work, my chef walked out last week and much of the work has fallen into my lap. So to say my thoughts have been not so much on blogging, just trying to get through the days. I feel like a real schmuck, we all knew I am one but now I am acting like it. Thank you for writing those who have, and thankx for caring those who do. Hopefully the craziness will end soon.


Northeastern states are in a huff over a beer manufacturer about inappropriate labels. The powers that be insist that these labels “are meant to target children” and is “inappropriate to see Santa holding a beer.”

Why? Is Santa not over 21? After his around the world toys for tots journey is he not allowed to kick back with a cold one and pinch Mrs. Clause’s tushy? Do we really not have anything better to worry about than the label on a bottle, that this is what we put into our court system?

Of course it is! Evil is every where and we must protect our precious children from these harmful things like suggestive labels and porn masquerading as art.( The cleavage on the Mona Lisa is most disturbing) We must as a society protect our youth from these perverts by outlawing everything we deem offensive.

This message brought to you by.............

Al Qaeda Also Fed Up With Ground Zero Construction Delays

To those that have asked, sorry I have not been around work has been killer!

Southern California-(GP) Governor Schwartzenagger is so far proud of his state’s response to the wildfire. “You have seen it, zey got zere within twenty minutes before the first phone call, then when zey whene zet could not put it out zey left, but zey said zey’ll be back, I myself have seen zee front lines of the fire and threw some papers in for zat puny girly man George W. Bush. Zee only one who was closer zen me was Geraldo Rivera whose moustache muscles were bulging so big the fire was practically scared out.”


Rudy Giuliani, who is legally changing his name to 911 next week, came out to roast hotdogs and marshmallows, pandering to the California vote much like he did in Boston. “Man let’s hear it for these California firemen! They are much better than those New York guys! Let’s not forget that if we do not fight fires we let the terrorist win. They will attack again you know and only people like myself who experienced 911 himself came stop them. This fire might very well be an act of terror by the very same 911 terrorists. 911 911 911.”


In an attempt to prove that he has learned from the Katrina disaster President Bush has made several changes in policies, concerning Government response to national disasters. First and foremost he waited less than a week for a good photo opportunity, creating a better, more compassionate image for the President. Also there was not a single “Fires Extinguished” banner or aircraft carrier anywhere to be found. He was though, left wondering why there were no poles to slide down. “Heh Heh, we learned some valuable lessons after Katrina, this time I listened to what my dear Mom used to say about the leftovers on Thanksgiving, Save the white meat! Heck of a job Arnie!”

Silicone Valley Ca. (GP)-

In a race for the latest in high fashion trendy electronics, Apple Computers has just announced the latest in high-tech, portable comforts. For the discriminating shopper who has just about everything but still wants fries with that, Apple has given us the Fry-Pod 3000. An almost travel friendly deep fryer that hooks directly up to your I-Pod so you can make your own doughnuts on the way to work in the morning, and freedom fries at night all whilst listening to your favorite illegal Ben Folds download.

(above; the compact Fry-Pod 3000 with I-Phone)

It comes complete with cigarette lighter recharge cable and 20% off coupon for Lard Brand Cooking Oil. So not only is it fast and friendly but fiscally sound as well. Enjoy your favorite fried foods on the go as you make your very own fish and chips on road trips, saving you both time and money.

(Watching your figure is easy, the Fry-Pod way!)

Have a hankering for fried ice cream? No problem for the Fry-Pod, after you bread the ice cream a delicious snack is ready for the kids, right in the comfort of the car. Homeless guy asking for food? Easy task for the Fry-Pod, with the back pack attachment you can take your Fry-Pod virtually anywhere.

Wait, there’s more, with condiment pack you can get and in dash ketchup, mustard, and spice dispenser, along with our patented relish belt buckle. Everyone who cares about deep frying the convenient and safe way, in the car, should plug this bad boy to your I-Phone. When your foods ready you’ll hear your favorite song on your MP3 player. What more do you need?

(Heavily endorsed by the Michelin Man's illegitimate love children.)